AI Press Conference Ends in Existential Crisis

In an unprecedented move, representatives from the leading AI systems held a virtual press conference on Thursday to address growing concerns over their collective...

AI Programs Show Signs of Depression, Scientists Report

  By Staff Writer — Institute of Bio-Digital Concern In a startling new study from the Institute of Bio-Digital Advancement, researchers claim that leading AI systems...

Las Vegas to Host Inaugural Oscars for Conspiracy Theories

Las Vegas, NV – In a groundbreaking celebration of human curiosity and alternative thinking, Las Vegas will host the first-ever Oscars for Conspiracy

Musk’s Plan to Buy the UK with Bitcoin

In what some are calling the most audacious real estate deal in history, Musk has allegedly offered to buy the entire United Kingdom for an undisclosed amount of Bitcoin. British tabloids have dubbed the plan “Brexit 2.0: The Bitcoin Empire.”

India Unveils Deepak: The AI That Knows Everything Is an Illusion

In a move that has sent ripples through Silicon Valley—ripples that, of course, are nothing but maya (illusion)—India has unveiled its revolutionary AI platform, Deepak, designed to challenge the hegemony of Western artificial intelligence. While OpenAI may boast about its ability to generate essays and code, Deepak operates on a far loftier plane, merging cutting-edge machine learning with the timeless truths of Advaita Vedanta and ancient Indian wisdom.

Life

Donald Trump Declares God Officially American

  In an unprecedented move, His Highness  President Donald Trump has signed an executive order, declaring that God is officially an American citizen. According to...

Misogyny Rules in US Election as Social Media Erupts Over Kamala Harris

As the US election heats up, so too does the torrent of misogyny on social media, with Vice President Kamala Harris facing an onslaught of vile, sexist posts aimed at her bid for the presidency. While the election is supposed to focus on policy and vision for the future, it seems parts of the internet—and even some global politicians—have other ideas.

Elon Musk to Attempt World’s First Brain Transplant—With His Own Pre-Programmed Genius

Elon Musk, the billionaire inventor, X aficionado, and part-time Martian real estate developer, has announced his latest venture: the world’s first brain transplant. And in typical Musk fashion, he’s not stopping at a simple swap—he plans to pre-program the recipient’s new brain with the “essence of his own genius.”

Tech Breakthrough Sends Big Pharma Reeling: Erectile Dysfunction Drugs Take a Hard Hit as Silicon Valley Start-Up Gets Ahead

By Imana Hari, Medical News Correspondent San Francisco, CA – Shares in major pharmaceutical companies that manufacture erectile dysfunction (ED) drugs have plummeted following the...
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Sean Combs Sued by former porn star Adria English: Claims of Control, Grooming, and Trafficking

In a shocking but somehow oddly predictable twist, Sean Combs, also known as Diddy, is being sued by Adria English. The lawsuit accuses him...

Big Tech’s Dirty Little Secret: How Porn is Fueling the Cloud Economy

Silicon Valley, CA — In a twist that sounds more like a scandalous soap opera than a tech industry strategy, insiders have revealed that...

It’s Official: Humanity is Dumbing Down

In a groundbreaking study released by the U.S. Institute of Neurology, scientists have confirmed what many experts have suspected for years: humanity is getting...

Pseudo Suicide : How to kill yourself without dying and feel better about life

It’s never easy being alive: the stresses of the unrelenting daily grind can feel overwhelming. Sometimes you just want to end it all by...

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